Sleep is a boundary

Sleep is a boundary»

“Sleep is a boundary. It distinguishes one day from the next. But sleep is also a border with strict border controls: it decides which sorrows, worries and joys we take with us from one day to the next. Have you ever had an idea just before sleep and debated whether it’s worth it to get out of bed to write it down? On the one hand, doing so will likely wake you up; on the other, not writing it down will make you anxious, because you fear your brilliant night-time thought will not servive the customs officers of sleep. I have brilliant ideas every night, but few survive until the next morning.

But it is also an extraordinary fact that few immediate sorrows are allowed passage through to the next day. I would have thought my mood pretty constant, that if I’m in a funk I’ll go to sleep depressed and wake up the same, and if I’m content I’ll wake up content; but when I think about it, I can hardly remember a single day when I woke up and the exact sorrows or joys that were on my mind when head hit pillow remained when I woke up. That’s quite a liberating thought, actually.

I imagine my conscious as a weary traveler, and my subconscious is a harsh and unfair customs officer, ruthlessly rummaging through my conscious’s baggage, deciding which things to let through to the next day. And when my conscious slumbers, what little baggage was let through is dented, twisted, subtly altered or entirely destroyed by its subconscious handlers.

I had this thought as I was about to fall asleep and I woke myself up to write it down, because I don’t trust my subconscious to let it pass, and yet it liberates me.”