chatarra
All posts tagged "philosophy"
Butchering the Human Carcass for Human Consumption »
“It is VERY IMPORTANT to remember that animals raised for slaughter are kept in tightly controlled environments with their health and diet carefully maintained. Humans are not. Thus not only is the meat of each person of varying quality, but people are also subject to an enormous range of diseases, infections, chemical imbalances, and poisonous bad habits, all typically increasing with age. Also as an animal ages, the meat loses its tenderness, becoming tough and stringy. No farm animal is ever allowed to age for thirty years. Six to thirteen months old is a more common slaughtering point. You will obviously want a youthful but mature physically fit human in apparently good health. A certain amount of fat is desirable as “marbling” to add a juicy, flavorful quality to the meat. We personally prefer firm caucasian females in their early twenties. These are “ripe”. But tastes vary, and it is a very large herd.”
Handy tips from the Church of Euthanasia.
“You’re gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it’s not the size of the asshole you worry about, it’s how much shit comes out of it.”
Justin (shitmydadsays) on Twitter
About Justin: “I’m 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says.” As of today, Justin has a little over 400,000 followers.
(via skandalon)
“Great writers are either husbands or lovers. Some writers supply the solid virtues of a husband: reliability, intelligibility, generosity, decency. There are other writers in whom one prizes the gifts of a lover, gifts of temperament rather than of moral goodness. Notoriously, women tolerate qualities in a lover—moodiness, selfishness, unreliability, brutality—that they would never countenance in a husband, in return for excitement, an infusion of intense feeling. In the same way, readers put up with unintelligibility, obsessiveness, painful truths, lies, bad grammar—if, in compensation, the writer allows them to savor rare emotions and dangerous sensations. And, as in life, so in art both are necessary, husbands and lovers. It’s a great pity when one is forced to choose between them.”
The Referendum »
“The Referendum is a phenomenon typical of (but not limited to) midlife, whereby people, increasingly aware of the finiteness of their time in the world, the limitations placed on them by their choices so far, and the narrowing options remaining to them, start judging their peers’ differing choices with reactions ranging from envy to contempt. The Referendum can subtly poison formerly close and uncomplicated relationships, creating tensions between the married and the single, the childless and parents, careerists and the stay-at-home. It’s exacerbated by the far greater diversity of options available to us now than a few decades ago, when everyone had to follow the same drill. We’re all anxiously sizing up how everyone else’s decisions have worked out to reassure ourselves that our own are vindicated — that we are, in some sense, winning.”
A must read for anybody between 25 and 35. Particularly if they’re not married. Particularly if they feel they’re standing in the middle of some kind of existential crossroad. I insist.
(via Tiffamander)
I feel you, bro.
“I saw a star explode and send out the building blocks of the Universe. Other stars, other planets and eventually other life. A supernova! Creation itself! I was there. I wanted to see it and be part of the moment. And you know how I perceived one of the most glorious events in the universe? With these ridiculous gelatinous orbs in my skull! With eyes designed to perceive only a tiny fraction of the EM spectrum. With ears designed only to hear vibrations in the air.
I don’t want to be human! I want to see gamma rays! I want to hear X-rays! And I want to - I want to smell dark matter! Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can’t even express these things properly because I have to - I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language! But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws! And feel the wind of a supernova flowing over me! I’m a machine! And I can know much more! I can experience so much more. But I’m trapped in this absurd body!”
— Brother Cavil, BSG 2003
jli:
kubrick
This man whom I don’t know, or his dedicated team of script writers, have my deepest respect. I love when someone deconstructs reality to its basic foundations, pouring light on the truth and leaving it bleeding on the table for those who want to see it.
Via Rob Sheridan.
Just be nice (bitch) »
“I am one of the most selfish bitches anyone will ever meet, but that does not mean I think - or act like - I am the only person in the world. I was raised by the last generation that worked to instill manners and social niceties in its children, and fulfilling your part of the social contract was a big part of that. Say “please” and “thank you”, be polite, and treat people how you want to be treated. JUST BE NICE. I’m not sure when it happened, but people now seem to believe that they are the only ones who have a right to behave any way they goddamn well please. “I can do what I want and you just have to deal with it, but when you do it, you’re a rude asshole”. Being polite and respectful is the price you pay for living in a functioning society. If you don’t like it, take your spoiled, immature, self-absorbed ass into the mountains and see how long you last on your own.”
En el blog de Tiffany, la borracha misántropa, siempre te partes el ojete y vuelves con algo nuevo.
“At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.”
“Never over-dramatise things, everything can be fixed; keep a certain detachment from everything; the important things in life are very few.”
“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
“The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds and the pessimist knows it.”
On Being A Male Adolescent »
Welcome to Junior High School, the ultimate training ground for the experiences and challenges of every day life until retirement is reached at age 65. The skills you will learn here are invaluable for success in any chosen profession.
- Being Beaten: You may have been alpha dog in your primary school, perhaps the most feared child on the playground, but now you’re at the bottom of the food chain again. Regular beatings from older classmates prepares a young adult for future promotions and job opportunities, creating the same violent environment bestowed upon all newcomers to any professional workplace.
- Being Verbally Abused: Continuous verbal abuse from classmates and faculty prepares a young adult for annual performance reviews in the real world. The formulaic ignoring of your positives and the highlighting of every negative aspect of your existence is something any successful professional should be prepared for.
- Vigilantism: Comprehension that the faculty/management doesn’t care about you or your personal problems - being more concerned with covering potential liability - is crucial for survival in the workplace. Scores are always settled at the bike rack after classes because nothing ever gets accomplished in the Principal’s office. Smaller male adolescents who are unable to physically challenge a transgressor learn how to covertly seek revenge on their tormentors or perceived enemies by retaliatory property crimes.
- Accountability: Surviving Junior High School is your responsibility. Any failure to prosper and post high test scores is ultimately your fault. “Non-Hackers” should expect a career in gas pumping or burger tossing.
